Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Confessions of a Closet Introvert

I'm in a bit of a melancholic mood. I've been thinking about my life a lot lately - can't imagine why, move to a new state, husband start a new job, living in temporary housing.

I've been talking with Elizabeth lately about Waldorf and how I might try and bring some concepts about in our house this year. Mostly I want to explore nature with the boys, and let them color and learn about beauty and just let them play. One of the concepts that Waldorf espouses, especially in the early years is keeping things calm, not schlepping the kids from one activity to another. This concept actually appeals to me.

I'll admit it; I'm a homebody at heart. I don't know that I was truly content staying at home before I had kids. Once Brian arrived, nothing appealed to me more than just being at home with him - snuggling on the couch, reading books, playing. Once Sean arrived, it was more difficult to get out and about, so staying home was even more appealing with my 2 little men. I just don't need a lot of external stimulation like I used to.

I remember talking with my friend Kary right after our first children were born. Kary left a highly successful sales job to be a stay at home mom. She told me that she was just not used to being in the house all the time so she scheduled lots of time out of the house - meeting friends for lunch, going shopping, things like that just so she didn't have to be sitting in the house all the time. I remember thinking how glad I was to be able to do that now.

Don't get me wrong; Kary is still a stay at home mom and loves being home with her girls. Her life is just different than mine. While her girls are in school, dance and going to play dates, my boys are with me all day, playing, doing "work" and snuggling on the couch. It's just a different lifestyle - not better, not worse, just the one I'm most comfortable with.

I'm looking forward to spending more time with my kids this year - we'll explore this beautiful world we live in. And I'll get the chance to step outside my comfort zone and leave my house to show my boys the wonder that God has put before us.

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